What Does ‘Letting Yourself Go’ Really Mean To Your Marriage –
“You’re not the same person I married.”
People change, but has it come to the point where you no longer find each other attractive or desirable? Can you see yourself as your spouse sees you? Do you like what you see? Is something more than aging going on here?
Truth is, when you got married, you may both have been better looking than you are right now. Fair enough. You were certainly younger! Well, age happens. But, this isn’t about how supple your skin is, how shiny your hair is, or even how many sizes you have in your closet. This is not all about looks.
The term ‘letting yourself go’ covers a lot of territory. First we must consider that when someone simply ‘lets go’ it is usually a matter of not caring anymore on a variety of levels. “Not caring anymore” can mean you have no regard as to how your partner sees you. Of course this can mean physical appearance, but it goes deeper than beauty products can reach.
Not caring for yourself can be indicative of not caring for your relationship. Letting yourself go can mean you have little or no regard, or respect, for your partnership. It can indicate you are willing to risk the possibility of losing your partner altogether. Remember, you are loved by your spouse, so why would you treat someone they love – you – so badly?
Sure, love is about more than looks… it is about caring. But not caring about how you look is an indicator of deeper issues. If you don’t care about how you look, it begs another question – What else might you not care about anymore?
Not caring about yourself and your appearance can be viewed as a step back in terms of commitment since you vowed to do everything you could to make the other person happy and to create a good life together.
Letting yourself go, physically and emotionally, is usually accompanied by a reduction in self-esteem, and it is not always certain which has led to which. However, when your self-esteem deteriorates it can have a profound impact on your relationship and manifest itself in many ways, including jealousy, insecurity, and other rather ugly emotions.
Unfortunately, that reduction in self-esteem is likely to do more damage to your relationship than any change in physical appearance itself. But, which came first? This chicken-and-egg question is a serious one and should be approached with some serious consideration and sometimes professional help.
Additionally, letting yourself go usually goes along with some other undesirable habits as well. Your partner might start spending less time on tasks which you would usually expect them to take care of. These are simple things like cleaning up after themselves, taking care of chores, and paying attention to the details of daily living.
If you have been letting yourself go, physically, emotionally, or even spiritually, you have been cheating your partner out of the person he or she married. If you really care about your marriage, stand back and take a good look at how much you have changed, and how much of that you can fix.
Time takes its toll on us all, making it impossible to remain the same person we were when we were young. But, we can still make the best of what we are now! Take a look at yourself and see the person your spouse sees. If you don’t like that person, it’s time to make a change!