Recapture That ‘Something Special’ Again –
A very wise marriage counselor once said; All marriages begin because there is something special, and no matter how bad it becomes, as long as you can get back to that “something special” again, you can save your marriage.
Let’s face it, when you first got married, there was something really special between you two. You were able to tell that your partner really loved you. You felt the magic of that love. You could see clearly how much your new spouse cared about you.
That “something special” is the very reason why you fell in love in the first place. It is what glued you together. It is what made you see each other’s good qualities, and made you oblivious to each other’s faults at the same time.
This special something was the driving force behind all those wonderful things you did for each other, the fun times you had together, and even the times you both had to forgive and forget.
Consider the fact that the original “something special” was strong enough to make marriage partners out of two strangers. This idea alone is a miracle. The marriage bond is such a big step that there must have been something incredible between you two at one point in time.
In fact, if the “something special” was that strong back then, imagine its strength if you could use it now!
Yes, this is one thing that should NOT fade with time. When marriage partners spend years together, they build a history of ups and downs that only serve to strengthen their bond. The problem is when married people forget how much work they had to put into the initial courting stage to create this bond.
As they build this “something special” into a lasting bond, the work involved seems to get side-stepped with the children, house, job, car, or whatever else happens to distract the couple from what’s important – the thing that brought them together in the first place. For without that “thing” there is no “children, house, job, car” – the stuff of their marriage. Because there is no marriage.
So, how do you recapture that “something special?” Ideally, you both have to agree upon some focused time spent together, alone, without intrusions. Start by talking, honestly, about what you used to like about each other. Talk about what you used to like to do together. Take a trip down memory lane and try to recapture the good times, the fun times, the silly times, and all the special feelings those times evoked.
Rediscover what attracted you to each other in the first place, and why you felt the way you did. Play “your” music, dance to your songs, play games, watch movies… anything that you enjoyed when you were dating. Talk, write, or sing. Recreate what you did those first weeks, months, or years. If you spent hours on the phone, call each other. If you wrote long letters, write each other. Put yourself back in the dating mood you once shared.
Once you have rediscovered that special ingredient, decide together on a plan of action to bring it back to life. Do something together you stopped doing long ago. Do the things that remind you of the old times. Even visit the old places if you can! Spend the time to recreate these memories and the feelings will follow.
When you find your “something special” again, cherish it. Then go back to it over and over again. Go back to the time of wonder, of selfless love, and of appreciating each other.
This is an incredible step toward reconnecting with your mate and possibly even saving your marriage. You will once again appreciate your partner and have a reason, and the strength, to weather the storms together that every marriage must endure.
You could even say it will be just like old times. But, now you will be more mature, somewhat wiser, and have a better ability to appreciate your partner, and your marriage, more than ever before.